Not so dear fanfiction writers
by deathbyshadow
Summary: The characters would like to address some issues in strong ways. No offense intended. First fic. All rights belong to Rick Riordan.
1. Chapter 1

Dear Fanfiction writers,

You people don't deserve the dear. I have several things to talk about.

1\. Why am I completely brainless in all of your stories. I've come up with plans, led battles, and tricked millennium old opponents. I'm way smarter than you people.

2\. Why am I paired up with every single girl (_and guy_) in the world. Do you honestly think I am that much of a disrespectful playboy. Some of the things I saw are just ridiculous. Like me and my own father (that writer is going to tartarus).

3\. I will not cheat on Annabeth. Does the fatal flaw loyalty mean nothing to you?

4\. I can drown all of you you know?

With absolute hate,

Percy Jackson


	2. Chapter 2

Despised Fanfiction writers,

I don't giggle, cry, moan, or kill anyone who doesn't treat me like a goddess. I am proud but I am perfectly capable of controlling it and doing the wise thing. I therefore do not cheat on Percy like some slut. I understand many things. Why you think I would perform these nonsensical acts is not one of them. I am a child of the wisdom goddess for Zeus sake. I know better. Stop writing me this way. I don't like it and am perfectly capable of eliminating it.

With more hate than there is water in the ocean,

Annabeth Chase

P.S. I am currently cleaning and sharpening the weapons in the armoury.


	3. Chapter 3

Fanfic writers,

1\. HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SECRET?

2\. You better not tell anyone.

3\. I am not emo. I just like black, dark corners, death, lack of colour, you know what forget it.

4\. I will never date your mary sues, much less you.

5\. Stop portraying me this way.

6\. This obey me and you will be spending quality time with the furies in the fields of punishment.

Not so sincerely,

Nico


	4. Chapter 4

Dear wonderful fanfic writers,

Thank you, thank you, thank you,*continues to say thank you a million times.*

You people gave me a girlfriend. To make things better, shes hot, nice and perfect. What more could I ask for? Don't get why Nico doesn't like them but oh well, his loss. Keep up the genius.

A highly grateful,

Leo


	5. Chapter 5

Accursed excuses of writers,

How dare you write about me being in love or having children. I am an eternal maiden, an eternal virgin. I am also a good hunter. Yet you dare with such utter blasphemy. Once I would have killed only men but now that rule has disappeared. I will hunt you all down, male or female. I wont kill you though. Ill turn you into an animal, to make you suffer and amuse my hunters as they track you down. It will also be good practise. What's this? You repent? Too late.

Ignoring your pleas of mercy,

Artemis


	6. Chapter 6

Blasphemous fanfiction writers,

HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME! ME! DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM. I am the almighty Zeus. King of Olympus. God of the sky. _Not_ drama. My speeches are true and brilliant. My power something to be awed at. My children are great leaders. Sometimes I make decisions nobody is happy with. Including me but I don't show it cause I have to set an example. I bet you cant make choices like that. Stop or you will learn how dying by electrocution is like.

The great,

Zeus


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry for not updating. Computer problems.**

Unhealthy Fanfic Writers,

I've read some of your stories and honestly, its pretty bad. There's only one logical reason. You're not eating enough cereal. I don't get why. Its delicious, healthy and will help you write. And I do not have an unhealthy obsession with it.

Demanding you eat more cereal,

Demeter.

P.S. Anyone who eats anything other than cereal,_ever_, will never eat cereal again.


	8. Chapter 8

Fanfic writers,

I have no idea what to say. On one hand you put Percabeth in a lot of your stories, and I have to say some aren't that bad. But on the other hand-ah I think ill just be mad at you.

HOW DARE YOU MESS WITH PERCABETH!. Only_ I_ can mess with them. And some of you BROKE THEM UP, and _refused_ to PUT THEM BACK TOGRTHER!

You. Will. SUFFER.

Bent on hating you cause that's what everyone else is doing,

Aphrodite


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Im going on holiday tomorrow and wont be able to update until I get back.**

Foolish writers,

HOW DARE YOU PAIR ME UP WITH POSEIDON. POTHENA. Really? Don't answer that. You bring shame to every writer there is. Prepare yourself for I will see you all killed. And I never fail.

Finalising the plan to kill you and catapult your souls to tartarus,

Athena

P.S. Who are your writing teachers. I wish to punish them as well.


End file.
